TodaysMama

Free Drugs

Signs can be very confusing to a 1st grader in a big elementary school, especially when refining reading skills. 

7yo (concerned) - "Mom, there was a sign at my school that said "Free Drugs", it was yellow." 

Me - "Buddy - where was it?"

7yo - "In the hall on a big yellow banner. We're not suppose to do drugs"

Me - "That's right buddy, don't worry, that sign probably said "Drug Free", that means that you don't do drugs"

7yo (relieved) - "Oh, I thought the 5th graders were putting the signs up"

My Favorite Thing From 1st Grade (so far)

I was the proudest mama ever when this little poem came home from school the other day!

(he even added an "illistrated" and othrd bie" line!)

The Sun Flowr Who Didint Hav Iny Leefs

A Sun Flowr Slumbrd Down on the Grownd

I did see the sun Flwr thet had no leefs

I sed wut is roing

The sunFlowr had a Tir dript down his seeds

but the sun flowr sed nuthing

then he lookt beyutful

teh end

I'm like the CIA

And yes, I'm talking about the art of interrogation! 

I just emerged from my sons room with the goods.

• I'm up on his secret crush (she has brown hair, hazel eyes, has lost one tooth and he hasn't talked to her yet - he is waiting until she's alone, but he gives her a special smile).
• He punched someone today on the playground (who supposedly punched him first) and has plans to call them a name tomorrow (gasp) Glad that one came up so I could address that proactively
• He forgot to hit the salad bar in the lunch line today (to my disappointment)
• His favorite subject is math

A few of my tactics:

• Get them when they are tired (and unsuspecting) like after they are tucked into bed
• We write little journals together (short and sweet and they also draw pictures)
• When they draw pictures I say "Tell me about your picture . . ." (a very open ended question)
• I walk home with them from school
• I'm relentless
• And with all my relentlessness, I actually give them a big fat break after school to play. I implement my interrogation tactics on the down low!

The best part is that when I emerged from the tuck in tonight and logged onto answer some email, my browser was open to TodaysMama.com (of course! ;) and the article that was up was:

Back-to-School Tips: 5 Talking Tactics to Break School-Year Silence

Perfectly timed!  And my friend complained today about how she couldn't get any details about school from her kindergartner. If you've got any good tips, chime in!

#1 most dedicated mom

See these balloons?  They look deceptively big from the picture I took. In reality, they are about the size of kiwis (and I could make all kinds of inappropriate jokes about that).  I'll save those jokes for another day. But I will leave you with the fact that there are about 16 balloons in that bag.  The other 50 or so - ended up exploding in my face. But I pushed forward like a "#1 most dedicated mom" should.

The fun lasted about 3 minutes until they were all popped. Those were $1 store balloons for a reason!

Skippin' Church

This should have posted yesterday . . .

Sometimes you've just gotta skip!  You've got to take advantage of this cozy little moments when they present themselves. Nap time. :)

Do you know how good you are?

I ask my kids this all the time, and then I follow up with telling them all the things I love about them. Today I asked the question to both my 5yo and 6yo -

Here were there answers:

6yo - 
"Yeah, I can read, I'm very smart, and I'm so lovable!"

5yo (exasperated)
"Yes I know! Because you keep telling me!"

All is quiet . . .

It's like the house takes a deep breath.  My husband has the two older kids, the baby just fell asleep, the house is (relatively) clean, and the sun is setting on our West facing house - bringing in my favorite warm light through the front windows of our house.  In the background I hear the washer and dryer humming along and I feel like I'm taking the best nap - even though I'm awake.

These quiet moments are rare -- but my favorite! Somehow it reminds me of being little - the house would be clean, the dishwasher running - and my mom would be taking a catnap on the couch and the house was still. 

It feels good to be still!

Tooth Fairy?

So - how much does the tooth fairy leave at your house?  I've been hearing a variety of totals out there on the street - anywhere from a few quarters to a $20!  (I'm pretty cheap - all those fairies leaving $20's out there need to check themselves!) :)

Leave a comment if you are willing to disclose what your tooth fairy stashes under the pillow.  This is our first loose tooth and I need to be on my A game when it pops out!

Here is a CNN article someone sent me on Twitter: http://tr.im/cuz2

First Day of Kindergarten

And I cried the entire time.  Give me a break!  I thought I would be fine.  We've all ready had a kindergarten picnic, a carnival, met the teacher, done the pre-testing etc. etc.  I've been to the parent meeting, sat in the classroom, read everything they've given me.  I was ready.

We pulled up to the school and my son said "Ok, see you later guys!" And my husband and I were like "Wait!  We're coming with you to drop you off!" And he laughed and said "I was just kidding!"

So we walked him to the playground where his class was lining up and before I knew it the teacher told the kids to give their parents a thumbs up and they marched off into class.  It was like ripping a band aid off really fast, but not in a good way. 

I was on the playground about to sob (well let's face it, I was falling apart), like the ugly kind of sob and I kept having to hide my face and pretend to be taking pictures on my phone.  Other moms tried to talk to me and I was like "I'm pregnant and hormonal . . . I have to leave . . .".

It is an understatement to say that it was pathetic.  I dropped him off an hour ago and I have cried several more times.  The kind of cry that swells up your eyes and runs snot down your nose. 

I made my husband take me to lunch and I just put some cookies in the oven.  The first day of kindergarten was tougher than I imagined . . . at least I can blame it in part on "the nugget" for causing my INSANE spike of emotions.  (at least that's what I'd like to think for now)

Maternity leave? All ready?

Well, not really, but that's what I'll blame my blogging absence on this summer.  Between incubating, vacationing, working, and all of the various things that go along with life as I know it - I have disappeared from the blogosphere. 

I'm back . . . I think.  ;)  And due February 8th with our third.  A girl! Here is a picture of "the nugget" as we all affectionately call her. 

Ultrasound pictures only make me think of Stephanie Meyer's latest book Breaking Dawn and the mutant baby that was ready to claw and gnaw it's way out of Bella's body . . .

Happy Mother's Day

I'll be honest, I really like Mother's Day. I know, some people have hang-ups with Mother's Day, but I don't. I don't really have high expectations for gifts or stuff like that, I just love the little things that little kids do for Mother's Day.

I especially love church on Mother's Day. Today they had the standard kids program and all of the cute songs they sing. But my favorite thing was that during Sunday School the kids filled out little worksheets about their moms.

My 4 Year Old's View About Me:
My mom has blonde hair and green eyes
She is 1 feet tall and weighs 1 pound
My mom likes to eat: Salad
Her favorite color is: Purple
My mom is happy when it's: Mother's Day
She is really smart, she know all about: planting flowers

My 5 Year Old's View About Me:
My mom has blonde hair and hazel eyes
She is 60 feet tall and weighs 60 pounds
My mom likes to eat: Tacos
Her favorite color is: Blue
My mom is happy when: I make her smile
She is really smart, she knows all about: Me

My husband was helping in Sunday School today and mentioned how many kids answered the question "My Mom is Happy When:" "She is sleeping" or "Taking a nap".

Anyway, there are my quick Mother's Day highlights. Happy Mother's Day to everyone!

Dire Consequences

So my 5 year old got sent to his room for hitting his sister. Naturally I went in to discuss consequences. I asked him what he thought his consequence should be.

His response: "Dire Consequences?"

It takes planning to be lazy!

As soon as the weather warms up I find myself making plans - plans to relax, enjoy the good weather, keep my kids busy and plans for the summer. The conclusion that I have come to is that I plan to be lazy, I plan to be low key and I plan avoidance.

For instance - I've determined that if I'm going to take my kids swimming at the local pool (in the winter or spring)- that the ideal time of day for me to take them is 4:00 in the afternoon - just enough time for my husband to get home early and just enough time to miss the legions of annoying people filling the pool with crytpo in the evening. It's also way easier to get a lane to swim laps in.

In the summer - I usually avoide the outdoor pools until August, when everyone is busy getting ready for back to school -- that's when you can find me and my kids lounging by the pool - why? Because I don't want to deal with the rest of the world! I want lowkey. I don't want to be in the mass sea of people. Too much work!

I do this type of planning for the sports and activities I involve my kids in as well. We do one thing at a time and I enroll in the early summer t-ball instead of the Spring - because well let's be honest - I'm lazy and I usually miss the Spring deadline, and the early summer is easier to sign up for. However, it comes with benefits - warmer and less rained out t-ball games for 5 year olds.

I realized I even do this for date night! I'd way rather volley for a babysitter on a weeknight and go out when it's not hard to get a table at a restaurant or tickets for a movie.

I am lazy by design. And that takes serious planning!

Stitch has a Glitch

So for our family movie night we rented Disney's "Stitch has a Glitch". Lately we love Stitch at our house.

Now I hope I'm not ruining this for anyone, but there is a part where you think that Stitch died. I personally was embarrassed and hiding my face because I was crying about it. But then I turned around an my husband's eyes were all red and misty and he was like "Stitch can't die!". Our kids looked at us totally confused.

And then Stitch came back to life and we started laughing. Disney can't mess with my emotions like that!

Something cold in the night . . .

You know -- we're in that stage where children wander into our bed throughout the night. I can almost unconciously lift them from the side of my bed into the middle of our bed without even realizing.

Last night my 5 year old joined us and snuggled up right behind me. At about 5:30 in the morning I felt cold. I thought that he had stolen the covers as he often does. Not this time. My back was soaked and all of the bed behind me. He had peeed . . . on me.

My first reaction was to jump out of bed and rip off my clothes and run to the bathtub. Anyone who knows me - knows that I don't love wet and gooey things: boogs, diapers, and especially the wet itchy feeling of being peeed on. (How do you spell peed anyway? peeed, pee'd, peed? I'm going to tick with 3 eee's because it looks better. )

But then you hear the sad little voice that says "I'm sorry mommy, I didn't know I peeed." And suddenly you're like "It's ok buddy, you can pee on me anytime!" Only a mother's love . . .

My kids prayers make me laugh . . .

So the other night - our 5-year-old offered up our nightly family prayer. It went something like this:
"Jesus, thank you for such a good day. The goodest day ever. A good day indeed."

Indeed it was.

I dig the ever expanding vocabulary!

Mommy Wars

I recently got up on my soap box about "The Feminine Mistake" -- which referenced The Mommy Wars a bit. We're running a poll right now on TodaysMama about the Mommy wars -- you can access the poll on the home page in the right hand column. What do you think about the Mommy Wars - Working Mom vs. Stay at Home Mom?

Share your thoughts on the Forum!

Holiday Highlights - Gifts They Actually Received

OK -- so the roundup of the most popular gifts at our house?

For my daughter:
Littlest Pet Shop
Do you know that every little pet has a magnet inside of them??? They will even stick to the fridge! And as another side note, some of the tiny little animals can stick out their tiny little tongues.

For my son:
Legos
I dedicated myself to this gift on Christmas day and sat down and built the most incredible little underwater construction vehicle you have ever seen. If any of you have any of those crazy lego sets, you will know what a feat this is. There are so many little parts it could drive a woman mad!

Holiday Highlights

So as you can see by the activity on my blog in December, the holidays held me hostage. Since you didn't hear from me at all in December, I'm bringing you the best of the Herrscher Holidays.

I want to begin by posting the best things that my kids asked for on their Christmas lists. Let's call this the "Top Ten Gifts That My Kids Will Never Get For Christmas"

Real puppies
Jungle trees
Star shooter
A dog that sticks his paws out and begs for money
Magic wheels
A car
Bounce House
Pink Treasure Box full of Babies and Boys (scary!)
Floating babies

Where did these kids come from?

The Feminine Mistake

I was cleaning out some old papers and magazines today and came across an article I ripped out from Women’s Health in June contributed by Leslie Bennetts, author of The Feminine Mistake and writer for Vanity Fair.

The excerpt was entitled “Letter to my Younger Self”.

Let me preface the rant I am about to go on by saying this:

• I haven’t read Leslie’s book, just the excerpt from the article referenced above and a bit of info about her online

• I wholeheartedly agree that women (and men) should plan for the unexpected personally and financially whether through financial planning, insurance policies, ongoing training, etc. etc. That is a book about finances – not about women selling out.

The fast facts that accompanied this little excerpt where:

• 5.6 million – Moms who stayed home with kids in 2006

• 4.4 million – Moms who stayed home in 1995

• 43% -- Percentage of moms with graduate or high-honors bachelor’s degrees who have left the workforce

And here were some of Leslie Bennett’s core messages; (some taken from her bio as well)

• Bennett says that stay at home mothers are “misled by the fairy-tale version of life, in which Prince Charming comes along and takes care of you forever.”

• “What animates the most interesting person I know is the passion for their work and the lives their work has given them”

• “The truth is, most women end up alone, one way or another.”

• “It’s meaningful careers, well-earned success, and enough financial security to ensure a broad range of options that sustain women through the rough patches of life”.

• “My career has given me more enduring gifts than my lovers ever did.”

• Stay at home moms are unwilling to look at the risks of staying home

• She says that the stay at home moms she talks to insist that “bad things would never happen to them, only other people.” I’m waiting to meet one of those women.

• Full time mothers have an overcapacity for denial

• They demand that their choices be respected and attack those who question them. (wow, maybe they should put on their aprons and hand out cookies?)

• Magazines are afraid of offending the stay at home “mommies”, they didn’t want to wake the “cranky children”

• Stay at home moms are buffered from harsh realities and preserve their illusions about their choice

My (longwinded) Take

So here are the juxtaposed messages between the stats bolded in bright red at the bottom of the article and the authors message: - More women are choosing to stay home with their children than ten years ago – and Leslie Bennett is screaming from the big glass building at Vanity Fair, “Big Mistake Ladies”!!!

Let me be a little rude. -- You are a day late and a thought short for this generation Leslie. Your message might have fit for the hungry women’s libbers of the 70’s or the droves of women returning to work in the eighties to go head to head with the boys. But the new generation of women and mothers in the workplace and at home have learned a thing or two from the women of yesteryear. We don’t want to fit in the box of whatever you think we should be – We're perfectly content to navigate our own lives - thanks.

We’ve watched our parents and our grandparents hack it out and the impending results over time. So we want to make changes to make our lives work out a little better. The definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Praise for the women who decided to leave corporate America for motherhood for a little more fulfillment AND praise for the women who decided to go back for a little more fulfillment or financial advancement. Praise for choices!

For those who left corporate America and those who want to leave right now: We don’t want to bank on failed marriages, late nights proving ourselves in the workplace and the over-riding sense of guilt wondering if we’ve failed our children AND ourselves. You no doubt find “GEN Y” and many of our “GEN X” counterparts entitled – because we want more control of our personal time than ever. Generally speaking we place a higher value on family and the time we spend with them. And watch out boomers – apparently we’re poised to bring on a GEN Y baby boom that may rival that of the post-World War II population explosion. There could be a 17% population increase in the next 10 years. Say goodbye to the 2 kid average and hello to the impending new national average of 3 kids per household.

It’s not surprising that 43% of moms with graduate or high honors bachelor’s degrees have left the workplace. They are smart! The flexibility is just not there and it quickly becomes “not worth it”. We can’t all write for Vanity Fair. You also fail to mention the fact that 40% of those women who leave the workplace start their own businesses. Why? Once again because they are smart and talented women with much to offer the world – and their children. We didn’t give it all up as the “giant feminine mistake” – we took back what was ours. The ability to have an identity with and without our children, and to be happy at what we are doing, and to contribute at many levels.

The fact that we continue to evolve is ignored. Bennet seems to think that today’s stay at home mom is living on Plumb street with cookies baking in the oven, a glint of emptiness in her mind, and happily cashing in daddy’s pay check. I wonder where she’s living?

Women today have more choices than ever. To have anything that is truly valuable there is a price to be exacted. There is a price exacted to stay home with your children, there is a price exacted to work full time, there is a price exacted to start your own business, there is a price for supporting your husband through medical school, there is a huge price to educate yourself and overcome as a single mother. At every level there are prices. Who is this woman to say which ones are worth it for which people.

I’ve all ready hopped on a soap box about how I think the Mommy Wars are a big lie that we inflict upon ourselves and how much I hate labels so if you’d like to continue to hear me rant on that level you can click here.

Here is the bottom line:

The feminine mistake is that we are led to believe that we belong in a box with limited decisions and paths set in stone. “Stay at home mom, working mom, etc. etc.”

The real feminine mistake would be following someone else’s advice rather than following your own path. It would be taking Leslie Bennett’s advice and listening to the people in the big glass buildings instead of the divine inspiration that we are all entitled to. Be who you are, love what you do, pass that on to your children!

Thanks Leslie Bennett and Women’s Health Magazine, for throwing us all in one jar and stepping back a few decades when women thought they had to choose one or the other!

Whew! If you read that long rant – thanks! I just had to get it off my chest! ;) Thanks for enduring!

Kitchen Ninjas

So my kids, have been calling themselves "Kitchen Ninjas" . . .

What do Kitchen Ninjas do you might ask?  Well, they run around pushing over my little girl's plastic kitchen set and throwing little pieces of fake plastic food at each other.

My little boy was quick to also make sure that I had not confused them with "Kitchen Gangsters".  He said:  Mommy, we are kitchen ninjas, not kitchen gangsters.  Gangsters beat people up and steal people's money.  Ninjas just throw things."

True wisdom.   

The Art of Refusal

. . . and my 5 year old has mastered it!

I made "Coconut Crusted Tilapia" Saturday night. It was heavenly. My 3-year-old called it Sillopia. But my 5-year-old decided he didn't like it - and he politely declined. Here is what he said to me:

"Mom, I don't like this fish. You made it very well, but I just don't like how it tastes." I didn't even ask for him to take 3 more bites (a standard statement at our house). He knew where to get me - flatter my skills and politely decline. No more Tilapia for him! All I could do is laugh!

The True Face of Fear

and it's not from Halloween . . . it's Splash Mountain! Thank heaven that they take your picture on the way down the BIG hill! :)

4

Mothers are notorious for counting to 3. Anytime I'm ready to level a threat all I need to do is start to count. For the most part, I'm going to say I get lucky and most of the time only get to 2. But my 5 year old is apparently bored of my tactics - so he suggested to me today that I count to 4 instead - just to shake things up a bit.

It's harder to count to 4. It has thrown my rhythm off a little. Deep down I wonder if he realizes that he has gained an extra second in the process . . .

What do you want to be when you grow up little boy?

As I mentioned, our family loved the movie Night at the Museum – The other day, my 4 year old took a nasty tumble on the playground and I (in my extreme paranoia) took him to the E.R. to make sure his brain wasn’t leaking out of his skull. (see picture attached). On the way to the hospital, my son was recounting to me how his fall happened and how he did a flip, and how it was so cool – and then all of the sudden he says “ Jedidiah’s imminent rage!” and started laughing. (for those of you who haven’t seen the movie, it is “Jedidiah’s impotent rage “ because he guns won’t fire.)

I couldn’t stop laughing. To extend the Night at the Museum moment just a little further – when we got to the E.R. and they were taking his vitals etc. the nurse asked my son what he wanted to be when he grew up. The answer was short and sweet – “a night guard.”

Another One Bites the Dust

We're not doing so good with the frogs.

The Ballad of Joe

Joe is a frog -- a frog brought home and gifted to us by our neighbors whom had collected about 15 frogs on their latest family vacation. We got Joe 3 days ago.

My kids have not been this excited about anything since Christmas -- this might even be more than Christmas. These past few nights when we pray together as a family - my son prays about Joe the frog, how funny he is, how he likes ants, and how he's grateful to have Joe as a pet.

Well, we got a call from the neighbors tonight and there was screaming in the back ground. Their 6 year old had discoverd most of the frogs in her flock dead -- "belly up". They thought we might be a good solution to revive the others since my husband went to PETCO last night and bought Joe a natural habitat with a swimming pool and organic soil. Joe is smaller than a dime.

We agreed that we would come over and rescue the other frogs. We had of course just dropped $30 on supplies for our little reptilian friend. My husband went inside our house to get the traveling Joe habitat to take to our neighbors and he walked out shaking his head.

Joe . . . belly up in his swimming pool.

Now I'm going to talk about a sin of ommission -- "Joe" is still alive in his habitat - somehow, he got a blue stripe on his body. We can't seem to figure it out -- ;) Needless to say, we've taken the 4 remaining survivors, passed one off as Joe, brought them home, fed them a tasty fruit fly dinner (another thing my husband picked up - reproducing fruit flies), tucked them in for the night, and broke the news to the kids that the frogs would be freed in the morning.

We're taking them to the local creek and letting them out on the shore. I can't have anymore go "belly up" on my watch!

Happy Mother's Day

"Long before I was a success, my mother made me feel like I could be one."
- Toni Morrison

I hope that's how I make my kids feel! I know my mom always made me feel like she trusted me, that she thought I was responsible, and smart -- I think a lot of the good choices I've made in my life stem from the fact that my mom made me feel like I would make the right choice.

Thanks Mom!

Happy Mother's Day to all!

MULTI-TASKING MOMS SPENDING MORE TIME

It's always there -- the mommy guilt. The guilt that we're not doing enought, that we're doing to much, that we've complicated our lives to the point of taking away from our children and families. I have often looked back to the past when seemingly what mother's seemed to be worrying about was a spotless household, canning peaches, and dealing with that neighborhood rascal Eddie Haskel and I've thought . . . wouldn't that be nice!

Well, chear up muliti-tasking mamas! A new study out tells us that we are actually spending more time with our children than any group of mothers in the last 60 years!

"According to a University of Maryland study, today’s mothers spend more hours focused on their children than their own mothers did 40 years ago . . ."

"In 1965, mothers spent 10.2 hours a week tending primarily to their children – feeding them, reading with them or playing games, for example – according to the study’s analysis of detailed time diaries kept by thousands of Americans. That number dipped in the 1970s and 1980s, rose in the 1990s and now is higher than ever, at nearly 14.1 hours a week."

The article went on to talk about how we are more concerned with "intensive parenting" -- child development, quality time spent with children, and being accessible. We're also willing to let things fall by the wayside like housework! There has been a 40% decline in housework and it's place on our priority list!

Time that dad's are logging in has TRIPLED!

We're doing a better job than we think . . .

This entire article was well done -- to read more check it out at the NasuaTelegraph.com

Elective C-Sections

Check out this article on TodaysMama.com It comes from our Expand Your Perspective section and is entitled - "Are Elective C-Sections Anyone's Business?" -- I dig this article because I have always lamented the fact that I've had to have C-Sections -- Check out the new discussion on our forum -- the forum is brand new and not announced to the public yet -- but hop on and comment!

The End of an Era

A mother's lament - The Deadbolt Discovery :(

There are certain milestones that come into every mother and child's life - happy and sad. There are cute things like first words, walking, learning letters etc. But then there are the disconcerting milestones that affect your perception of peace and happiness in your life.

I'm talking about the things like learning to climb out of their crib, conquering child proof handles, crawling in places you never thought you had to worry about etc. My latest came when my 4 year old figured out that he could stack some things by the door in order to undo the deadbolt and leave the house. The deadbolt has kept relative order in our home. It's quelled possible mutinys and prevented my children from totally escaping my clutches.

Those days are over. In no time I"ll be installing laser security systems in the yard to keep them from escaping on the sly!

Happy Meals

Just tonight I noticed how many bits and pieces of Happy Meal toys took up space in my little boys toy bin and scattered across the floor. I thought about how badly I wanted to throw every one of them away for good and was reminded of an article posted by Meagan Francis on TodaysMama just this week.

She's got a strategy for getting rid of those irritating little toys - it involves a car wash and achieves several goals at once! :)

She did reference the few worthwhile toys that have come from Happy Meals - and those toys that make absolutely no sense like the "female human action hero inside the body of a purple plastic armadillo". I might actually keep that one if I were her -- just for kicks and giggles!

Pre-School Registration

Debbie Granick has posted an awesome article on TodaysMama about pre-school choices.

I'm just in the process of registering both my kids for next year and I was debating how many days to put my 3-year-old in for . . . my favorite quote from Debbie: "A happy mommy makes for a happy kid (unless it’s cocaine, spontaneous year-long world tours, or a perpetual state of incoherence that makes you happy). If you have a little time in the mornings to do what makes you tick, you will, without question, have more enthusiasm for your little one when he hops in the car in the afternoon."

Read the rest of the article here . . .

The Woe of Motherhood

I ran across this blogger online today and love what she had to say! Check it out . . .
The Reluctant Housewife -- The Woe of Motherhood

She talks about some of the recent media perception about moms, and finishes it off by explaining just why motherhood is liberating -- I agree!

Allow Card

For when I have teenagers . . .

Two Arizona grandparents developed a card that parents can buy for $19.95 and deposit money onto it any time like a debit card - it works at ATM's and stores that accept Mastercard. It's called the Allow Card. You can monitor spending and even decide which types of stores are off limits --

Sounds convenient to me -- I'm still out on what my opinion is for sure -- is it a nice little spending watch dog for parents, or something that prevents kids from learning to control their spending on their own?

It Happened To Me

Just as I finished reading this month's Parents magazine this morning about how someone's son cut his brother with scissors - It happened to me.

That's right, I had my own gory "It happened to me" experience. I'm really never reading their magazine again this time.

Just as I finished letting my imagination run wild at the thought of my children cutting the tips of each others fingers off my little girl pushed a plastic storage bin onto her older brothers head knocking him into the edge of my snowboard, splitting his forehead open. Off to the Emergency Room . . . luckily this months Parents magazine included just enough information to scare us and then backed themselves up with the Emergency Room Prep section!

Worry Worry Worry

At one of our latest TodaysMama staff meetings we were discussing what kind of Buzz items to include on the website. We wanted to include timely, important information, but decided that we don't want to be the ambulance chasers that reprint "every-reason-you-shouldn't-leave-your-house-today" type of news. Someone mentioned the article from the December 4 Times magazine that referenced the fact that " Nearly twice as many Americans commit suicide each year as are murdered. More than 10 times as many die falling out of bed as from lightning strikes". . .

But we worry; we worry all of the time. Muffy Mead-Ferro wrote an awesome article in December entitled "Worry, Worry, Worry" for the Expand Your Perspective section on TodaysMama.com that I just had to reference again because it was just that good. She talks about the same Time magazine article and about how much we do indeed worry.

She pointed out that "statistically speaking, our children were more likely to be abducted by a stranger in the 1950s than they are now, and even then it wasn’t very likely". This is comforting news to me as I'm paranoid to let my kids play in the front yard by themselves for more than 2.5 minutes.

We worry too much! Her article helps me chill out a bit -- in contrast to the section in Parents magazine called "It happenened to me . . ." (insert dramatic music). Every month this feature tells the woeful tales of the disaters that happen to other families . . . the child who ate the lightbulb, burned themself by sucking on a battery, swallowed money (or a number of other things), or the dresser fell over on them . . . the list goes on -- but it doesn't make me feel any better or more informed about my job as a parent. It adds to my paranoia. In fact - it made me stop reading their magazine.

I'd rather take Muffy's advice and worry more about getting off my cell phone while I drive my kids around town, or worry about whether they should be eating too many happy meals or better yet, taking a minute to just not worry at all!

Fear and Trepidation

It's 8:18 a.m. In the room next to me sits a 5 year old, a 4 year old, a 3 year old and a 8 month old. (2 of them are mine) I'm watching the other two for the next 3 days.

Props to the moms with little broods of children under the age of 5! I'm scared to death! I've got this little system worked out with my 2 semi self sufficient (can use the potty) children. We'll soon find out if more children are in my cards . . .

I shouldn't even be that scared - they are all good kids and I basically have my husband on call to help - I just don't know how the super moms out there pull this off!

Musical Beds

There is no sleep for the weary at our house. My little girl has moved into her big girl bed - which pretty much means that she's moved into our bed because it's so much easier to escape the big girl bed. Last night she came in our bed at 3:00 a.m. She was twisting her fingers through my hair, kicking her legs and rolling all around. This was topped off my husband restlessley readjusting all night and making the mattress bounce. The more I couldn't sleep, the madder I got. Then my son came in. I got up and escorted the kids back to their rooms. Then the alternating began. One right after the other - laying with one in their bed hoping to get them to sleep, going to the others, then back to my own, only to hear another pair of little feet walking through our door.

I was done. I took my pillow and banished myself to the basement. I grabbed a foam pad from the storage and slept under the swingset. (yes we have a swingset in the basement :) My husband and the two kids could have that whole queen size bed to themselves! My last act before falling asleep -- throwing a green hulk hand at the wall in my basement right after I tripped on it stumbling into my little resting place. The last words I heard . . . "HULK SMASH!!!!"

All Star Parenting Moment

My 4 year old can't figure out how to blow his nose - and he's a little stuffy right now. I can hear it in his voice, and even worse, I can see the little bits "nasal debris" chillin' right up there in his nose. The problem is we can't figure out how to get them out.

So - I decided to get a small pair of tweezers - (something the Academy of Pediatrics has no doubt written about -- probably something about keeping small sharp objects out of our bodies). I convinced him to let me hover over him trying to get the nasal debris (a.k.a. boogs) out of his nose. I was not successful nor could I convince him to let me give it a round 4 try. I tried to bribe him - but to no avail he ran away.

I can't explain how bad I wanted to succeed -- in some morbid way, the way my dad loved pulling teeth out. And I was reduced to shoving tiny tweezers up my sons nose to do it. I took a minute and stepped back from the situation and realized that I'd probably turned into the mom my 16 year old self would be ashamed of - the mom that could find that much joy cleaning out my childs nose . . .

Don't call it a bum!

I just got back from my friend's house and she told me a great story! They were at Home Depot the other day and she was waiting in the car with her 5 year old while her husband ran in to grab something. In the meantime a young man walked by their car with some fairly low hanging jeans on.

My friend remarked "You can see his butt"

Her daughter promptly replied "Mom, that's a naughty word!"

So my friend changed it to "bum bum" . . . to which her daughter replied "Mommy, why don't you just call it an ass!"

My friend couldn't stop laughing, so her 5 year old daughter went on in the back seat, feeding the fire "ass, ass, ass, ass, . . ."

Needless to say they had a talk about swear words after that!

Govern with Fear?

I told my 4 year old today that if he watched too much TV it would scramble his brains. He touched his head and walked away.

When I told him that he'd had enough juice for the day, that it had too much sugar that that wasn't good for his body - he started to turn down juice because it would "make his bones smaller".

Thanksgiving

Hands down most experiences in life with kids are magnified. (for better or for worse) :)

Somehow, holidays with my little family make me totally emotional. The kind of emotional we used to make fun of my mom for when she'd cry watching (or even hearing the theme song from) Terms of Endearment.

Our Thanksgiving was awesome!. The night before my husband took to making his traditional coconut creme pie - where he gets real coconuts, and goes outside and "axes" them open and hand peels the shavings. You'll find that I often reference the wonderful things my husband does-- from sewing the kids costumes to whipping up something fabulous in the kitchen. Yet he does these things with such a manly flare -- literally gets out the ax to break the coconuts open . . . yet I still get all misty eyed over it!

On Thanksgiving day we lounged around the house for the morning watching the Macy's Day parade (which I have never had much interest in). But this year the parade had me glued to the couch. My kids were totally into it - so we cuddled on the couch, and I cried when Super Grover came on, and when Scooby Doo came strolling down the street. I didn't cry for my own excitement to see Super Grover (no matter how cool I DO think he is). I welled up inside soaking in the holiday magic. My kids thought it was magical, and all of the sudden so many things that were magical to me when I was little were magical again for me.

I'm just so thankful to be able to do all fo the magical things for a second time, and it's even funner as a parent.

All of this emotion, not to mention the St.Jude's commercial that came on during the commerical break. Telling us all to be thankful that our kids don't have cancer. I practically had to pull a pillow over my head on that one so my kids wouldn't wonder why mommy was crying with the ugly face!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

We went on a little fall hike up the canyon yesterday and my son told me that he wanted to be a Crocodile Hunter when he grows up . . . with special weapons . . . to fight sting rays . . .

I asked my 2-year-old little girl what she wanted to be when she grew up: Cin-rella - I love the way she says it, I wish I could replicate in writing her 2-year-old accent.

When I was 3 or 4 I wanted to be a fireman when I grew up. What 4-year-old is going to say they want to be an entrepreneur, or a small business owner, or a tech crazed webpreneur when they grow up. That aside I think I have my dream job. Something that is like a blank canvas where I can bring concepts and design, and functionality to life and there are fewer boundaries all of the time with the advances in technology.

I love every inch, every facet, every little twist and turn of my small business.

I saw a funny cartoon in Time magazine last night -- 3 moms sitting around a table talking about their kids:

Mom 1: My son wants to be a doctor when he grows up!
Mom 2: My son wants to be a lawyer!
Mom 3: My son wants to sell his website to Google!!!

Watch out Google . . . we're all coming for you!

Let me tell you what hurts . . .

Falling asleep on your 4 year old's bed for the night hurts. I don't know what happened. One minute I was tucking the little man in, the next minute it's 5:15 in the morning and I'm curled up on the edge of his bed on a tiny little bear pillow. I hadn't budged, I hadn't moved. As a matter of fact I was so asleep that when I woke up I was in a bit of a panick - it took me a good 30 seconds to figure out where I was.

I'm stiff, my neck is kinked, and I'm incredibly tired. And what's worse . . . 45 minutes after I returned to my own bed . . . in comes the pitter patter of little feet to crowd my queen bed to 3! Once again I'd been pushed to the edge, the little man wins again!

Mommy Voo Doo Backfired

So 4:30 a.m. rolls around, and my 4-year-old rolls into my bedroom - in a panick because we forgot to brush his teeth!

Well, I tried to tell him to not worry and to just go back to bed. I was too tired to drag myself out of bed and turn on lights, and brush teeth.

You might guess that sent him into a panick - "But mom! I will get cavities, the dentist will drill my teeth, I'll get fur on my teeth! BRUSH MY TEETH!!!"

All that brushing your teeth voo doo I've launched at him came back and slapped me in the face - because he was really listening!

I'm Sick

I despise being sick. However, the one endearing thing about being sick is watching how my kids react. My 4-year-old brought me his blanky, and my 2-year-old came in and offered to "rub it better", so she rubbed my sick little tummy ache for a minute and ran away.

At our house, when we're sick, we drink liquid jello. Maybe it's because I live in Utah, or maybe let's just accept it, it's darn good and feels good in my sick tummy.

Even though unsolidifed jello is yummy and I dig my kids little bedside offerings to their ailing mommy . . . I still despise being sick.

Cold Weather Entertainment

Last Friday it rained all day - so I had to think of a good way to entertain the kids and myself. I started having flashbacks of last winter and the cabin fever that sets in here in Utah and I just had to get out. Since becoming a mother I have come to despise the wintertime. Before kids, winter in Utah meant feet of fresh snow, my snowboard, snowshoeing, cabins, sledding, and on and on.

As a matter of fact, I remember the winter when I was pregnant with my first and I told my husband that he should go back country snowboarding. He hadn't been out all season and it would be fun for him. Why should he suffer just because I was confined to areas that had a close radius to a bathroom?

Well, he went, he came home and I hadn't moved much, except that I had locked the door to the bathroom since I was camped out near the toilet. (I think I set a record - I threw up 23 times in 24 hours). But instead of feeling sad about my nauseous state, I had tears welling up in my eyes at the thought of the fun that he had that day. I had changed from nice wife "You should go snowboarding sweetie, get out and have some fun" to the evil pregnant wife who could barely speak. Of course he stood outside the door confused since I could barely muster words - except to say "I hope you had fun (sob), I hope the powder was great (sniff sniff), actually, don't even tell me about it (voice cracking), it will just make me want to vomit all over you!"

Needless to say post kids the cold months resemble something like this: me, tapping the windows, staring into the gray sky and plotting which germ infested indoor retreat I dare to take my children to. I hope that this changes this year as I think that my 2 year old might have the coordination to brave the park in a snowsuit this year.

Some of you might ask why I am thinking about these things this early - it's only mid September! We had a little cold spell the past few days and it brought back a little bit of winter PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).

Well, I'm slowly but surely getting around to the real point of my story! Last Friday I took my kids to one of the malls that have a little kiddie land for them to play at since the weather had turned so cold on Friday. It's kind of an odd place, but it kills the time. It's a big room filled with all kinds of giant rubber desserts: an ice cream sandwich, a big spilled soda pop, a cupcake, a big ice cream cone etc. It was perfect, no one was there, and the kids could run and jump between the giant confections. They started calling me out to jump from goodie to goodie with them.

I sat - content to sit. I had a fairly intense dialogue in my head over what I should do. I'm not going to lie to you, I have looked longingly on a visit or two thinking about jumping from the spilled soda pop to the ice cream sandwich, just wondering if I could make it. But it would take so much energy, and adults weren't allowed to jump on the stuff. I was clearly taller than the little ice cream man-measuring guy at the entrance.

But my internal dialogue got a little more involved - Why shouldn't I be jumping and playing on this stuff with them? Why as an "adult" have I slowly morphed into the mom who would rather rest my weary body on the sidelines - was it really inappropriate for me to jump all over the stuff?

Well to make the long story just a little longer - I gave in, I got up, I jumped from munchie to munchie, and it was actually funner than hanging on the sidelines cleaning out my purse. And furthermore I plan to continue breaking a few more appropriate height and weight rules as we embark on our cold weather activites this winter.

Bless Me with a Boring Life

So my 4-year-old has decided that pre-school is not a good idea anymore.

I had tried telling him that staying home would be boring, that he'd have to take a nap, and that all of the kids at pre-school would be having so much fun while he was at home in bed. I thought it might motivate him.

The first day of school we said a little prayer before he left to help him have the courage to go to pre-school. He was really afraid and said that he would miss me too much. It seemed to work because on the first day he went with no problems.

I thought it might work again, so we knelt to say a prayer, and I asked him what he'd like me to tell Heavenly Father . . . His response: "You can tell Heavenly Father that I want to have a boring life, and that I don't want to have too much fun, and that I like taking naps. Tell him I'm not going to pre-school. That's all. Amen."

Fascinating, Frightening, and Fun

Today was the first real day of preschool. I'd been pondering this day all week. The day when my 4 year old would be left all alone at school. Orientation was on Tuesday and seemed to go ok - but today as we drove to his class he said to me "Mommy, this isn't a very good idea", "I think we should wait" he went on to tell me that he would miss me, that even though he was there with his teachers and friends that he was still all alone. This was a big day in his life!

Needless to say the drop-off went well (I'm sure the teachers appreciated that I unloaded him sucker in hand), the pickup went well, the teacher told me that he did fabulously. The first real day of pre-school was a success. She followed it up with a laugh and said . . . "That can all change of course!"

While he was at school I reviewed the packet that they sent home with me during orientation- It gave me some good insights into my 4 year olds behavior. Insights I could have used yesterday! Some of them may seem obvious, but others are validation that he's a normal 4 year old, which hopefully makes me a more normal parent.

"Fours have a great need to use their big muscles and they do in running, leaping and jumping, climbing, hanging and swinging, pushing, pulling, and tugging. Physically rambunctious, they will roll, tumble, hit, punch, wrestle, chase each other fall down, ending in a heap of arms and legs. The wise teacher (or parent in this case) accepts this hard working play as a vital need and makes provisions for it or suffers the consequences".

I especially liked the part where they said hit, punch and wrestle.

"The social behavior of the four-ear-old is likely to be quite uninhibited. He is bold, brassy, aggressive, noisy and swaggering, likes to swear, and is out of bounds with adult relationships. Fours may kick, bite, snatch and grab, and they can express their feelings in very explicit terms. You can almost be guaranteed that at some time during this year they will engage in bathroom talk, and worse.”

Snatch and grab is big at our house. And those explicit terms they express themselves in – I dig that. I’m comforted to have someone validate the fact that while he is not dropping the f-bomb, he’s still bringing that kind of energy to it, and well, I guess it’s pretty normal.

“Gusty fours accompany action with verbal outbursts and threats.”

Like before bed, he told me he was going to “Take me down Charlie Brown”. He often says “You wanna piece of me?” Mostly he’s joking . . . and then again, sometimes he’s not.

“Parents and teachers of fours need to hold the reins loosely but pull up tight when necessary. They need unlimited patience and the ability to stand NOISE. Fours are fascinating, frightening, and fun!”

All of this is pretty common sense – like I needed someone to tell me that my son likes to use potty words! Somehow “poopy” seems to be the funniest world out between him and his little buddies.

Yet it’s incredibly comforting to read about how normal all of these things are. Pre-School teachers must have learned by now that parents are a bit hypersensitive about their children’s behavior, so they had the foresight to send home the disclaimer and eased us all into the first year of pre-school.